for now, this is it.

So, yes, I'm in no mood for blogging. Been staring at lappy screen for almost 10min, but I did not type anything on Blogger. Er, my mind is totally blank right now. Don;t know what was I thinking at the moment.

Just look at the previous entries. Very blurgh. I mean, how on earth I could type those thing? I still can't believe myself. But, no, I wont delete those entries. that entries is what I call a 'fill' entry.

And, if I might add, there are few reason for me no to update this blog of mine:

1. Since the other half of mine introduced me to this particular website, I've been constantly hook to that website.

2. I constantly on Twitter too. Yeah, as you can see on the top of my sidebar

3. Nothing to be updated to this blog.

I did enjoy my life right now. I did live my life peacefully and happily. And I'm happy to spent time with my family. And I can't wait for this Friday night, for a little family gathering. I heart u my dear auntie, =)

a mushy-mushy entry

I miss this moments. I miss the place that we used to hang out together. I miss the beach. I miss the sands. I miss laughing out loud with him. I miss talking endlessly with him. I miss our jokes. I miss the times he teases me. I miss to slap him hard in his face (yes, I selalu tampar dia). I miss his brothers. I miss my silly little moments with him. I miss the time that I had spent with him. I miss everything about him. I miss him.

He miss my perangai mengada, miss my perangai cerewet and he miss my perangai yang kuat membebel ni.

Can't wait to see him again, for a short period only. But it's okay sayang, we'll face it together okay.

p/s: pardon me for this mushy-mushy entry.

if only I have my own The Meadow

Situasi 1

Pernah tak kau rasa mahu jerit sekuat-kuat hati pada seseorang, "tolong jaga tepi kain sendiri. tak payah nak sibuk ambik tahu hal orang lain"!

Kalau itu kawan-kawan sendiri, mungkin senang.

Kalau orang itu orang yang rapat dengan anda? Flesh and blood with you? How? How? How?

Situasi 2

To someone, please lah. It's a very lame tactic. Okay lah, at first, I admit, I almost succumb into your tactic. Later on, while talking bout it to K, he did make me see the clearer picture. Oh my god, never ever I thought you would be so cheap to make me feel guilty.

If only I could escape to a place where it is only me and the other half of mine. And of course my parents, siblings and my closest friends. If only I could have a secret place like The Meadow as exist in Bella's and Edward's world. I would love to have a secret place like that. My own sanctuary.

I miss the moments that I have with the other half of mine whenever we hang out near the beach. I really miss those moments. Hanging near the beach makes me calm, in fact it is always be our perfect moments and having endless conversation.

'Sigh'. Certain people in your life sometimes really irritate and annoy you.

a new moon, =)

Seperti yang pernah I uar-uarkan dia entry-entry sebelum ini, New Moon memang my most awaited movie of the year. Tak sabar gila nak tengok New Moon. Walaupun memasang impian nak tengok New Moon dengan K, tapi hajat tak kesampaian. Sebab kau dan aku jauh terpisah. Oh sedih. Tiba-tiba nak bersedih tak tentu pasal. Heh, tak cukup-cukup lagi ke bersedih sebelum ni.

Hari ini hari bersosial dengan adek-beradek. Tapi adek-adek takde layan New Moon. Masing-masing target cerita lain. Sudahnya terpaksa la kakak ini tengok New Moon seorang diri. Hah, macam la I tak pernah buat kerja gila tengok wayang sorang-sorang kan.

Cashier kat TGV tu pun sampai hati kata, 'tengok sorang je ke?' masa I beli tiket tu. Ceh, sampai hati cakap macam tu, bertambah sedih I dibuatnya.

About New Moon secara ringkasnya:

Edward makin handsome, itu tak dapat dinafikan lah. Bella makin cantik. Since I dah pernah baca bukunya, I ada expectation jugak la kan about the plot. Mula-mula cerita dah buat I sebak. Sebak je, belum menangis lagi. The Meadow yang jadi tempat Bella dan Edward is sooo beautiful. Tiba-tiba merasa nak ada dengan K macam dekat The Meadow. Feeling-feeling romantik la konon nya. Kang sudahnya main tampar-tampar pulak kang. Dakota Fanning memang scary, hilang ke-comelan, digantikan dengan kegarangan. Tambah-tambah dengan anak mata warna merah tu kan.

Fakta tak penting:

1. Dalam hall sejuk gila nak mati. Tiba-tiba rasa sayu. Sejuk-sejuk macam ni nak pinjam sweater sape? K bukan ada sebelah I.Kalau dia ada boleh la pinjam sweater dia. Sudahnya, tahan sejuk je la dalam hall tu.

2. I tak tahu pulak kan kalau sekumpulan lelaki berminat nak tengok New Moon kan, I mean, sebelah I, ada la 3,4 orang lelaki tengok New Moon. What? Lelaki pun berminat dengan Edward dan Jacob jugak ke? I ingat perempuan je yang tergila-gila kan dua jejaka tersebut.

3. Jacob takde la buff sangat pun, takde la muscle sangat kan. I ingat tough gila lah kan badan dia sejak jadi werewolf ni. I imagine tough la macam body Gerard Butler dalam 300.

4. Part paling tak tahan: I menangis masa tengok New Moon. Yes, I menangis. Menangis tak ingat, biarkan je air mata berlinang membasahi pipi. Bertambah berlinang bila Edward tinggalkan Bella, sumpah I menangis teruk masa tu. Dah la tengok sorang-sorang je. Kalau la K ada sama, mesti dia pujuk I. Kan, K, kan. Entah-entah orang sebelah dengan orang belakang sedar kot I menangis, I tak peduli lah. Sedih wooo.

Well, sebelum selamat menonton wayang, sempat la had a brief conversation dengan K:

me: sedeh la tengok sorang. nanti kalau menanges nak pinjam bahu sapa (saje gedik that way)
him: no komen
me: takpe la, pinjam la kejap bahu mamat hensem sebelah ni ye
him: jangan nak mengada-ngada ye
me: habes tu awak takde. nanti edward tinggalkan bella mesti sedih nanti
him: nanges je sorang-sorang, tak payah pinjam bahu orang
me: tak boleh, bahu sendiri tak sampai
him: lap je dengan kain. abes cerita

Ceh K, apa awak ingat saya bawak kain ke nak keluar tengok wayang ha? Kain perca, kain buruk semua saya takde bawak. Cakap la lap pakai tisu ke, ini lap pakai kain, ceh.

what if?

Last July, something happen to me. Something that really change me to what I'm now. Something that I've been meaning to do for quite some time, but never have the courage to do it. At last, I did it.

I don't have to elaborate it. It's sooooo yesterday. Apa yang penting, I happy sekarang. Like really happy.

Dan hari ini, sesuatu berlaku juga. Bukan lah sesuatu yang cukup besar, sesuatu yang kecil saja. Tapi cukup untuk buat I rasa bakal kehilangan seketika. Dan ia buat I terfikir bahawa I memang rindukan sesuatu.

Entah. Lately ni I sangat-sangat emosional. Mudah sangat nak terasa, mudah sangat nak marah, mudah sangat nak bermelankolik tanpa sebab. Mungkin juga sebab it's the time of the month, sampai K pun takut nak gurau tak tentu pasal dengan I. Silap mesej, memang I mengamuk, dah la susah nak pujuk. Itu dia yang kata lah.

Sebab kedua, kami berdua saja yang tahu.

Apa yang buat I terfikir hari ini; apa akan jadi kalau I tak ambik buat keputusan macam tu dulu? What if I decide to stay in that 4years relationship? What happen if the other someone didn't show up in my life? What happen if that other other someone never ever exist in our relationship? What if? What if? What if?

(to those who read the private blog of mine would know the full story)

It's too complicated right now. Too many things on my mind.

Kthnkxbye.

lelaki hot, lelaki pujaan.

Kalau ramai perempuan suka dengan George Clooney or Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise ke, I tak pernah minat any of them. Lagi-lagi Brad Pitt. Puh-lease. Not Brad Pitt please. I nyampah kat Brad Pitt.

Dan I tak pernah faham kenapa ramai sangat perempuan sangat suka pada David Beckham? Jangan kata sebab dia hot ke, handsome ke. No. He's not hot in my book. So does Cristiano Ronaldo. Puh-lease. Handsome ke dia tu? No, no, no.

Zac Efron? Tak jugak. Sebab muka jambu. Please, jangan la lelaki bermuka jambu.

So, sapa yang hot atau kacak dalam senarai I?

Definisi hot pada mata I:
Hot pada I bukan melihat pada tampan wajahnya, tidak! I tak pandang sangat soal how handsome he is when I define hot in my book. I sendiri tak boleh nak define hot itu. Please note bahawa lelaki hot dan lelaki pujaan itu berbeza bagi I.

Antara lelaki pujaan: Edward Cullen (not Robert Pattinson), Chuck Bass (not Ed Westwick), Robert Downey Jr, Hugh Jackman, etc

Lelai hot agak tricky sedikit. Antara lelaki hot:

Ahem, I heart Matt Damon. Yes, Matt Damon, not Brad or George. Matt pernah tersenarai dalam 2007 People Sexiest Man Alive. I heart him. A lot.

Eric Bana dan Viggo Mortensen pernah tersenarai sebagai lelaki hot di mata I.

I heart Ruud van Nistelrooy (a footballer). Ruud itu lelaki hot sejak 2001 lagi okay. Sampai sekarang, tetap hot jugak. Dulu masa sekolah, sampai a few of my juniors yang tahu betapa besarnya minat I pada Ruud. Sampai kan dulu I pernah simpan satu fail yang I letak gambar dan artikel tentang Ruud.

Paolo Maldini itu juga hot di mata I. And no, Cristiano Ronaldo itu tidak hot di mata I.

Dan..........

Bercakap soal lelaki yang dianggap hot, I takkan boleh ketepikan Kirk Hammett. Siapa dia? Metallica guitarist, also ranked 11th in 2003 Rolling Stone 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time. Ye, mat rock manalah kacak kan. Dengan rambut panjang kerinting tu, mana lah kacak kan. Tapi, dia hot di mata I. Bertambah hot bila layan dia punya petikan gitar. Macam satu ketagihan.

Kirk yang hot, =)

I heart Keith Richards too. Entah. Kacak itu tidak. Tapi di mata I, hot. Okay, mungkin sebab I suka pada orang yang tahu main gitar, maka sebab tu kot I suka pada gitaris.

Dan, Joe Wings tu hot jugak okay di mata I, =). Apa, ingat tak pandang gitaris tempatan ke ha?

Seriously, lelaki hot di mata I, itu susah I nak define kan. Bukan pandang pada kacak wajahnya, tidak! Tapi mostly lelaki hot di mata I kebanyakanya adalah guitarists dan footballers.

Ahem, bengang la seorang manusia tu. Dah dia tak minat bola. Dah dia tak reti main gitar. Nak buat macam mana sayang, dah gf awk ni suka kat orang yang suka main gitar, ngee.

K itu pujaan atau hot? Tak, dia itu sejenis manusia berciri kesayangan, =)